About Me
- Kathleen R. LaBounty - KathleenRuby@aol.com
- http://childofastranger.blogspot.com/
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Monday, September 21, 2009
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Look-a-Like Sperm Bank: Searching for the Perfect Genes
This article discusses a new service enabling women to select donors based on the celebrities that they look most like. Although some positive changes have been made in recent years at sperm banks, I think the one below is completely outrageous.
By Kimberly Papa Wolfson, AOL News
Choosing the biological father of your child from a catalog filled with statistics ranging from eye color to ethnicity can make an intensely personal decision seem awfully impersonal. In hopes of helping clients feel more of a connection with a potential donor, Los Angeles-based California Cryobank has developed a new service called Donor Look-a-Likes, which allows women to search for potential daddies based on which celebrities they most closely resemble.
“The toughest thing to do when choosing a donor is to make a personal connection,” says Scott Brown, California Cryobank’s communications manager. “It’s easy to look at stats like eye color, hair, religion, ethnicity, and height, but without a tangible person to see it is difficult to emotionally invest in a donor. Because we can’t provide photos of the donors themselves, this is a way for clients to connect and for us to personalize the experience and give them a better idea of what the donor looks like.”
The service, which the company launched several weeks ago, has quickly become a huge draw for heterosexual couples, single women and lesbian couples looking for donors. California Cryobank has received 300 percent more inquiries since debuting Donor Look-a-Likes.
So which famous faces are the most popular among popular for donor-searching moms? “Fast and Furious” hottie Paul Walker is the most searched, followed "Heroes" star Greg Gruberg, Scott Caan, Ben Affleck and "Private Practice" actor Paul Adelstein.
Choosing a Donor
You might be surprised to find more average-looking actors topping the list instead of, say, Brad Pitt and Johnny Depp taking the top spots. Brown says the reason regular guys do well is because heterosexual couples looking for donors, which make up 40 percent of their clients, often search for a donor who looks like dad. “You have to keep in mind that most guys look more like a James Gandolfini than Ben Affleck.”
Choosing who a donor’s celebrity look-a-like isn’t a scientific process. About ten staffers at the bank take photos of the donors and comb the internet in search of potential matches. Together they share their suggestions, and if everyone in the group agrees, they have a match.
“We look at specific features like noses and smiles, but also overall look and what type of guy there are, whether it’s an athlete, actor or a musician,” Brown says.
New clients aren’t the only ones interested in finding a look-a-like. Brown reports that over 50 former clients have contacted the company since the program launched asking who the look-a-like for their donor was, years after being inseminated. “That lets us know this is something very personal.”
So if you’re hoping your artificially inseminated offspring will be the next Tom Brady or Will Smith, choosing a donor based on their look-a-like may seem like a good bet. However, Brown warns, “Genetics is a tricky thing. We have Ph.D. scholars and athletes, but can’t guarantee a child will have those qualities.”
By Kimberly Papa Wolfson, AOL News
Choosing the biological father of your child from a catalog filled with statistics ranging from eye color to ethnicity can make an intensely personal decision seem awfully impersonal. In hopes of helping clients feel more of a connection with a potential donor, Los Angeles-based California Cryobank has developed a new service called Donor Look-a-Likes, which allows women to search for potential daddies based on which celebrities they most closely resemble.
“The toughest thing to do when choosing a donor is to make a personal connection,” says Scott Brown, California Cryobank’s communications manager. “It’s easy to look at stats like eye color, hair, religion, ethnicity, and height, but without a tangible person to see it is difficult to emotionally invest in a donor. Because we can’t provide photos of the donors themselves, this is a way for clients to connect and for us to personalize the experience and give them a better idea of what the donor looks like.”
The service, which the company launched several weeks ago, has quickly become a huge draw for heterosexual couples, single women and lesbian couples looking for donors. California Cryobank has received 300 percent more inquiries since debuting Donor Look-a-Likes.
So which famous faces are the most popular among popular for donor-searching moms? “Fast and Furious” hottie Paul Walker is the most searched, followed "Heroes" star Greg Gruberg, Scott Caan, Ben Affleck and "Private Practice" actor Paul Adelstein.
Choosing a Donor
You might be surprised to find more average-looking actors topping the list instead of, say, Brad Pitt and Johnny Depp taking the top spots. Brown says the reason regular guys do well is because heterosexual couples looking for donors, which make up 40 percent of their clients, often search for a donor who looks like dad. “You have to keep in mind that most guys look more like a James Gandolfini than Ben Affleck.”
Choosing who a donor’s celebrity look-a-like isn’t a scientific process. About ten staffers at the bank take photos of the donors and comb the internet in search of potential matches. Together they share their suggestions, and if everyone in the group agrees, they have a match.
“We look at specific features like noses and smiles, but also overall look and what type of guy there are, whether it’s an athlete, actor or a musician,” Brown says.
New clients aren’t the only ones interested in finding a look-a-like. Brown reports that over 50 former clients have contacted the company since the program launched asking who the look-a-like for their donor was, years after being inseminated. “That lets us know this is something very personal.”
So if you’re hoping your artificially inseminated offspring will be the next Tom Brady or Will Smith, choosing a donor based on their look-a-like may seem like a good bet. However, Brown warns, “Genetics is a tricky thing. We have Ph.D. scholars and athletes, but can’t guarantee a child will have those qualities.”
Friday, August 7, 2009
Upcoming Donor Conception Movies in 2010!
It looks as though several big movies to be released in 2010 may bring attention to donor conception. Thanks to a fellow donor-conceived person for the following information.
1. The Back-Up Plan: An upcoming romantic comedy film in which a single woman Zoe (Jennifer Lopez) conceives twins through artificial insemination by donor, only to meet the man of her dreams named Stan (Alex O'Loughlin) on the same day.
2. The Baster: An upcoming romantic comedy starring Jennifer Aniston and Jason Bateman. A man's friend is intent on having a child through artificial insemination by donor. He secretly replaces the sperm donor's semen with his own. He is forced to live with the secret that he is the child's real father.
3. The Kids Are All Right: Julianne Moore, Mark Ruffalo, Josh Hutcherson and Mia Wasikowska are set to star in the movie revolving around a brother and sister (Hutcherson, Wasikowska) who set out to find their same-sex parents' sperm donor. The donor totally upsets their family dynamic once he enters their lives.
Perhaps 2010 will be a year of greater understanding of issues surrounding reproductive medicine through these movies and future media/discussions surrounding them. I also hope this may spark more media for donor-conceived/their families and help our cause.
1. The Back-Up Plan: An upcoming romantic comedy film in which a single woman Zoe (Jennifer Lopez) conceives twins through artificial insemination by donor, only to meet the man of her dreams named Stan (Alex O'Loughlin) on the same day.
2. The Baster: An upcoming romantic comedy starring Jennifer Aniston and Jason Bateman. A man's friend is intent on having a child through artificial insemination by donor. He secretly replaces the sperm donor's semen with his own. He is forced to live with the secret that he is the child's real father.
3. The Kids Are All Right: Julianne Moore, Mark Ruffalo, Josh Hutcherson and Mia Wasikowska are set to star in the movie revolving around a brother and sister (Hutcherson, Wasikowska) who set out to find their same-sex parents' sperm donor. The donor totally upsets their family dynamic once he enters their lives.
Perhaps 2010 will be a year of greater understanding of issues surrounding reproductive medicine through these movies and future media/discussions surrounding them. I also hope this may spark more media for donor-conceived/their families and help our cause.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Happy July 4th!
I typically restrict my entries to donor conception. However, last night's fireworks in downtown Houston were too pretty to not share them!Saturday, April 25, 2009
"Who's Your Daddy?" - Article by Lori Andrews
(May 2009, published in a leading men's magazine)
In 1981 a sperm donor entered a small room with erotic magazines at the back of a staff lunchroom at Baylor Medical Center. He ejaculated into a plastic cup, opened a small door in the wall and pushed a buzzer. The cup spun out of sight, with $50 in an envelope returning to its place. Like other men in his position, the donor probably spent the money taking his girlfriend to dinner, getting high or - if he was a frequent enough donor - paying tuition. He was promised anonymity and told not to give a moment's thought to what would happen to the sperm once it left that hole in the wall.
Now the result of that sperm donation, a 27-year-old graduate student named Kathleen LaBounty, is looking for her father. And depending on his own beliefs and life circumstances, the possibility that she will find him is either a modern Hallmark moment or something that will scare the bejesus out of him.
Since its inception more than a century ago, sperm donation has been shrouded in secrecy. In 1884 Dr. William Pancoast, a professor at Jefferson Medical College in Philadelphia, treated an infertile woman by putting her under anesthesia and inseminating her with sperm from his best-looking student. Only when he realized that the child looked just like the donor did he inform the woman's husband. The man said, "Fine, but don't tell my wife."
Even today donor insemination is conducted clandestinely. Couples who create children using donated sperm generally do not tell the child of his or her unique conception. Instead, they let the child, relatives and friends assume the baby is the infertile husband's biological offspring. But changing social norms - including the use of donors by single women, cheap genetic testing and the sleuthing power of the Internet - have created a fissure in the wall of secrecy. About 10 percent of the million children who have issued from donor insemination know a sperm donor seeded their life.
Single women usually tell their child at an early age that his or her biological dad was a donor. College professor Leann Mischel created a quasi-family by getting in touch with 18 other women across the country who, like her, used donor 401 from the Fairfax Crybank in Virginia. With 26 children under the age of seven among them, they are now a support group that shares family photos and child-rearing tips. Once a year many of them gather at a theme park for a unique family reunion where the children, who are half-siblings, can get to know one another. It's only a matter of time, though, before one of the women or children decides to find donor 401.
Technologies that were not anticipated when Kathleen LaBounty was coneived have helped children sneak up on donors. An enterprising 15-year-old tracked down his anonymous sperm donor dad by matching his DNA to that of the donor's family on a genealogical website. The boy paid $289 to familytreedna.com for a genetic test that compared his Y chromosome with other Y chromosomes in a genealogical registry. He found several males with whom he had a biological link. By using the last names of those men, the known birth date of his biological father and country birth records, he was able to identify his donor.
An internet registry that allows recipients to share information about donors also makes it easier to identify them. Wendy Kramer, whose son Ryan was conceived through donor insemination, started donorsiblingregistry.com, where donor-conceived children can find their half siblings. Moms and kids write to ask questions like, "Who else has used donor 2064?" So far, more than 23,100 people have registered on the site, and 6,162 siblings have been matched.
LaBounty's mother was not given a sperm-donor number or any facts about the donor, other than that he had been a student at Baylor Medical School. Undeterred, Kathleen recently wrote to all 600 men who attended the school at the time of her conception. Amazingly, 250 wrote back, and 40 of them had been donors. Some of the men were as eager as she was to make contact. One wrote, "I've been waiting 26 years to get your letter in the mail."
That donor was not alone in his longing for information about the child he'd created. Kramer was shocked when the donors themselves started joining online conversations. More than 750 sperm donors have registered on her website to contact their "children." Other donors have hired private detectives or stolen a peek at private medical records to find out about their biological offspring.
Why would a man who was paid to masturbate now want a relationship with the child? Perhaps the experience of being a sperm donor is not always the lark the infertility industry assumed. Men usually donate sperm when they are young and haven't had children themselves. Later when they marry and become fathers, some begin to wonder what happened to their other children.
And who wouldn't want a beautiful, talented daughter like Kathleen LaBounty without having to go through the stages of colic, potty training, second-grade recitals, and driver's ed? But would donor 401 of Virginia be equally welcoming if 26 young offspring showed up at his doorstep?
The tens of thousands of men who serve as sperm donors each year may soon have to come to grips with those questions. Consumer's demand for more information as they choose donors may make tracking them easier. While LaBounty knows only the date and place of the sperm donation, women seeking sperm donors today receive anywhere from five to 20 pages of information about each potential donor. Although donor 1049's name is not included in his profile, a clinic's entry on him includes a photo showing a clean-cut, cute Californian. He says he's a member of the Clean Oceans Campaign and the Surfrider Foundation. He describes himself as secure, sensitive, innovative, intelligent, creative, thoughtful, ambitious, competitive, respectful, comedic, and optimistic. His SAT score is 1355. His 54-year-old mother is a healthy, intelligent and adventurous painter who wears reading glasses. His brother is a developer. How hard would it be to track down this man?
Searching is not without risk. Jeffrey Harrison, a hot catch as donor 150 in the late 1980s, was described on his donor form as a blue-eyed, six foot-tall lover of philosophy and music. Three years ago two of his sperm-donor children, daughters born into different families, found each other and began their search for him. Instead of encountering a superstar philosophy professor or symphony conductor, they found a man who lives in a trailer and supports himself doing odd jobs.
And what about the donor's current family? Not all donors' wives are pleased when they find out about other children. Some understandably feel threatened.
So far, none of the Baylor donors who have undergone paternity tests have provided to be LaBounty's biological father. But even when connections are made, not everyone proceeds with the same speed, desire or level of interest. One donor wrote on the donor-sibling website, "I flooded my biological daughter with photos of me and her cousins and grandparents. But just as a example, last night, as I was sending off a quick e-mail to her, my wife reminded me that my son was upstairs vegging out on the Discovery Channel instead of brushing his teeth and reading. The clear implication is that time taken to interact with donor-insemination children kids is time taken away from the regular kids, and I parent them less because of it. It's a rearrangement of the social order to have relationships established this late in life."
Kirk Maxey, president of a chemical company, served as a donor for more than a decade at the behest of his then wife, a nurse. Happily married with children of his own, he reached out to two daughters he created through sperm donation. And now he's helping other donors. He created a nonprofit genetic-testing center where donors and children of donors can have their blood tested for genetic markers to see if they match. He is also pushing for laws that would allow children to learn the identity of their donor, even if he had been promised anonymity. Such laws already exist in Sweden, Germany, the Netherlands, New Zealand, and the UK. In early 2009 a Missouri lawmaker introduced a bill that would allow children of sperm donors to learn the donor's identity when they reach the age of 18.
As a result of this social movement, American donors are preparing to deal with paternity tests that finger them as fathers and potential laws that may identify them to their donor children. A California doctor who created 33 donor children while in medical school has rewritten his will. If his donor children sue his estate after he dies, they will each get $1. While it's a lot less than he received for the contents of that little plastic cup, it's still a lot more than he ever bargained for.
In 1981 a sperm donor entered a small room with erotic magazines at the back of a staff lunchroom at Baylor Medical Center. He ejaculated into a plastic cup, opened a small door in the wall and pushed a buzzer. The cup spun out of sight, with $50 in an envelope returning to its place. Like other men in his position, the donor probably spent the money taking his girlfriend to dinner, getting high or - if he was a frequent enough donor - paying tuition. He was promised anonymity and told not to give a moment's thought to what would happen to the sperm once it left that hole in the wall.
Now the result of that sperm donation, a 27-year-old graduate student named Kathleen LaBounty, is looking for her father. And depending on his own beliefs and life circumstances, the possibility that she will find him is either a modern Hallmark moment or something that will scare the bejesus out of him.
Since its inception more than a century ago, sperm donation has been shrouded in secrecy. In 1884 Dr. William Pancoast, a professor at Jefferson Medical College in Philadelphia, treated an infertile woman by putting her under anesthesia and inseminating her with sperm from his best-looking student. Only when he realized that the child looked just like the donor did he inform the woman's husband. The man said, "Fine, but don't tell my wife."
Even today donor insemination is conducted clandestinely. Couples who create children using donated sperm generally do not tell the child of his or her unique conception. Instead, they let the child, relatives and friends assume the baby is the infertile husband's biological offspring. But changing social norms - including the use of donors by single women, cheap genetic testing and the sleuthing power of the Internet - have created a fissure in the wall of secrecy. About 10 percent of the million children who have issued from donor insemination know a sperm donor seeded their life.
Single women usually tell their child at an early age that his or her biological dad was a donor. College professor Leann Mischel created a quasi-family by getting in touch with 18 other women across the country who, like her, used donor 401 from the Fairfax Crybank in Virginia. With 26 children under the age of seven among them, they are now a support group that shares family photos and child-rearing tips. Once a year many of them gather at a theme park for a unique family reunion where the children, who are half-siblings, can get to know one another. It's only a matter of time, though, before one of the women or children decides to find donor 401.
Technologies that were not anticipated when Kathleen LaBounty was coneived have helped children sneak up on donors. An enterprising 15-year-old tracked down his anonymous sperm donor dad by matching his DNA to that of the donor's family on a genealogical website. The boy paid $289 to familytreedna.com for a genetic test that compared his Y chromosome with other Y chromosomes in a genealogical registry. He found several males with whom he had a biological link. By using the last names of those men, the known birth date of his biological father and country birth records, he was able to identify his donor.
An internet registry that allows recipients to share information about donors also makes it easier to identify them. Wendy Kramer, whose son Ryan was conceived through donor insemination, started donorsiblingregistry.com, where donor-conceived children can find their half siblings. Moms and kids write to ask questions like, "Who else has used donor 2064?" So far, more than 23,100 people have registered on the site, and 6,162 siblings have been matched.
LaBounty's mother was not given a sperm-donor number or any facts about the donor, other than that he had been a student at Baylor Medical School. Undeterred, Kathleen recently wrote to all 600 men who attended the school at the time of her conception. Amazingly, 250 wrote back, and 40 of them had been donors. Some of the men were as eager as she was to make contact. One wrote, "I've been waiting 26 years to get your letter in the mail."
That donor was not alone in his longing for information about the child he'd created. Kramer was shocked when the donors themselves started joining online conversations. More than 750 sperm donors have registered on her website to contact their "children." Other donors have hired private detectives or stolen a peek at private medical records to find out about their biological offspring.
Why would a man who was paid to masturbate now want a relationship with the child? Perhaps the experience of being a sperm donor is not always the lark the infertility industry assumed. Men usually donate sperm when they are young and haven't had children themselves. Later when they marry and become fathers, some begin to wonder what happened to their other children.
And who wouldn't want a beautiful, talented daughter like Kathleen LaBounty without having to go through the stages of colic, potty training, second-grade recitals, and driver's ed? But would donor 401 of Virginia be equally welcoming if 26 young offspring showed up at his doorstep?
The tens of thousands of men who serve as sperm donors each year may soon have to come to grips with those questions. Consumer's demand for more information as they choose donors may make tracking them easier. While LaBounty knows only the date and place of the sperm donation, women seeking sperm donors today receive anywhere from five to 20 pages of information about each potential donor. Although donor 1049's name is not included in his profile, a clinic's entry on him includes a photo showing a clean-cut, cute Californian. He says he's a member of the Clean Oceans Campaign and the Surfrider Foundation. He describes himself as secure, sensitive, innovative, intelligent, creative, thoughtful, ambitious, competitive, respectful, comedic, and optimistic. His SAT score is 1355. His 54-year-old mother is a healthy, intelligent and adventurous painter who wears reading glasses. His brother is a developer. How hard would it be to track down this man?
Searching is not without risk. Jeffrey Harrison, a hot catch as donor 150 in the late 1980s, was described on his donor form as a blue-eyed, six foot-tall lover of philosophy and music. Three years ago two of his sperm-donor children, daughters born into different families, found each other and began their search for him. Instead of encountering a superstar philosophy professor or symphony conductor, they found a man who lives in a trailer and supports himself doing odd jobs.
And what about the donor's current family? Not all donors' wives are pleased when they find out about other children. Some understandably feel threatened.
So far, none of the Baylor donors who have undergone paternity tests have provided to be LaBounty's biological father. But even when connections are made, not everyone proceeds with the same speed, desire or level of interest. One donor wrote on the donor-sibling website, "I flooded my biological daughter with photos of me and her cousins and grandparents. But just as a example, last night, as I was sending off a quick e-mail to her, my wife reminded me that my son was upstairs vegging out on the Discovery Channel instead of brushing his teeth and reading. The clear implication is that time taken to interact with donor-insemination children kids is time taken away from the regular kids, and I parent them less because of it. It's a rearrangement of the social order to have relationships established this late in life."
Kirk Maxey, president of a chemical company, served as a donor for more than a decade at the behest of his then wife, a nurse. Happily married with children of his own, he reached out to two daughters he created through sperm donation. And now he's helping other donors. He created a nonprofit genetic-testing center where donors and children of donors can have their blood tested for genetic markers to see if they match. He is also pushing for laws that would allow children to learn the identity of their donor, even if he had been promised anonymity. Such laws already exist in Sweden, Germany, the Netherlands, New Zealand, and the UK. In early 2009 a Missouri lawmaker introduced a bill that would allow children of sperm donors to learn the donor's identity when they reach the age of 18.
As a result of this social movement, American donors are preparing to deal with paternity tests that finger them as fathers and potential laws that may identify them to their donor children. A California doctor who created 33 donor children while in medical school has rewritten his will. If his donor children sue his estate after he dies, they will each get $1. While it's a lot less than he received for the contents of that little plastic cup, it's still a lot more than he ever bargained for.
Monday, March 30, 2009
WHO AM I?: Documentary
WHO AM I? How do you define identity? What role, if any, has genetics played in shaping the person you are today?
We’re SEEKING DONOR OFFSPRING to participate in an international high end documentary series on Assisted Reproductive Technology and the link between biological and genetic history and identity. What makes this documentary series unique is that it is told through the eyes of the offspring conceived through ART; your EYES.
We want to hear your stories; your perspectives; your insights into the impact of the technology that helped bring you into this world and your vision for the future.
WHO ARE WE? Please allow us to introduce ourselves:
Tammi Michelle Faraday is a Television, Feature Film & Documentary Producer, Investigative journalist, Human Rights Lobbyist, Television Presenter, Broadcaster, and one time Senior Associate of an international law firm. Tammi recently returned to Australia after being based in London for two years working as a producer on critically acclaimed and award winning feature films and feature length documentaries for the BBC (UK), WGBH (United States), SBS (Australia) and Channel 2 (Israel). These include: "The Insurgency" (a BBC/WGBH feature length documentary about the Iraqi insurgency); "The Nuclear Wal-Mart" (a BBC Panorama investigation about the private international nuclear network); "Yitzchak Rabin - Case Unclosed" (a groundbreaking documentary on the late Prime Minister of Israel); "Rape on Trial" (a BBC Panorama investigation about rape and the criminal justice system in the UK) and the multi award winning feature film in Australia, "Wil".
In 2008 Tammi launched her international film production, media and communications company - Juggernaut Media Management.
Ros Tatarka is an established producer with an extensive track record primarily in television production. In her early career Ros worked on some of Australia’s most iconic television dramas including Prisoner, Neighbours and A Country Practice. She later went on to Associate Produce the mini-series Snowy and the first nine telemovies of the successful Halifaxfp franchise. As Producer her credits include the first series of Something In the Air, and the telemovie and first series of Good Guys Bad Guys, for which she won an AFI Award. Ros was most recently engaged as the General Manager, Industry Development and Investment at the State Government Agency, Film Victoria. In this role, Ros headed up the business unit responsible for stimulating and supporting growth and excellence in the Victorian screen industry. In 2008 Ros returned to the independent sector and through her production company, CreatEve Pty Ltd, is developing a slate of projects including feature film, television drama, documentary and new media.
For further information please contact Tammi Faraday on + 61 (0)401 952 962 or boss@juggernautmedia.com.au
or Ros Tatarka on either +61 (0)411 567 556 or rtatarka@optusnet.com.au.
We’re SEEKING DONOR OFFSPRING to participate in an international high end documentary series on Assisted Reproductive Technology and the link between biological and genetic history and identity. What makes this documentary series unique is that it is told through the eyes of the offspring conceived through ART; your EYES.
We want to hear your stories; your perspectives; your insights into the impact of the technology that helped bring you into this world and your vision for the future.
WHO ARE WE? Please allow us to introduce ourselves:
Tammi Michelle Faraday is a Television, Feature Film & Documentary Producer, Investigative journalist, Human Rights Lobbyist, Television Presenter, Broadcaster, and one time Senior Associate of an international law firm. Tammi recently returned to Australia after being based in London for two years working as a producer on critically acclaimed and award winning feature films and feature length documentaries for the BBC (UK), WGBH (United States), SBS (Australia) and Channel 2 (Israel). These include: "The Insurgency" (a BBC/WGBH feature length documentary about the Iraqi insurgency); "The Nuclear Wal-Mart" (a BBC Panorama investigation about the private international nuclear network); "Yitzchak Rabin - Case Unclosed" (a groundbreaking documentary on the late Prime Minister of Israel); "Rape on Trial" (a BBC Panorama investigation about rape and the criminal justice system in the UK) and the multi award winning feature film in Australia, "Wil".
In 2008 Tammi launched her international film production, media and communications company - Juggernaut Media Management.
Ros Tatarka is an established producer with an extensive track record primarily in television production. In her early career Ros worked on some of Australia’s most iconic television dramas including Prisoner, Neighbours and A Country Practice. She later went on to Associate Produce the mini-series Snowy and the first nine telemovies of the successful Halifaxfp franchise. As Producer her credits include the first series of Something In the Air, and the telemovie and first series of Good Guys Bad Guys, for which she won an AFI Award. Ros was most recently engaged as the General Manager, Industry Development and Investment at the State Government Agency, Film Victoria. In this role, Ros headed up the business unit responsible for stimulating and supporting growth and excellence in the Victorian screen industry. In 2008 Ros returned to the independent sector and through her production company, CreatEve Pty Ltd, is developing a slate of projects including feature film, television drama, documentary and new media.
For further information please contact Tammi Faraday on + 61 (0)401 952 962 or boss@juggernautmedia.com.au
or Ros Tatarka on either +61 (0)411 567 556 or rtatarka@optusnet.com.au.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Ethical Considerations for Sperm Donation - What is Missing From This Picture?
What are the ethical considerations for sperm donation? According to a slide show about infertility on the website of Stanford, one of the world's leading research and teaching institutions, these are the following factors that must be considered:
"1. The rights of the sperm donor.
2. The rights of the clients who are purchasing the sperm.
3. The criteria by which sperm are collected (i.e. choosing a donor who has certain traits).
4. The amount of sperm that a single man can donate."
However, one major group - in my opinion, the most important one - is missing from this discussion. Yes, the very people produced through reproductive technology! I find it striking that we are frequently not even brought up in this debate, yet we are the entire reason that the industry exists in the first place. We also happen to be the only ones who have no ability to consent to the conditions surrounding the "medical treatment."
This also brings me back to the donor-conceived octuplets with six older siblings who are currently receiving much media attention. It is very unfortunate that the doctor, the donor father, nor the mother (Nadya Suleman) really thought about the best interests of the children. I hope that their sad situation at least results in better regulations and places more focus on the children in the weighing of the ethics of the current practice of reproductive technology. Whether there are fourteen children conceived through donated gametes or one, they deserve to have rights.
"1. The rights of the sperm donor.
2. The rights of the clients who are purchasing the sperm.
3. The criteria by which sperm are collected (i.e. choosing a donor who has certain traits).
4. The amount of sperm that a single man can donate."
However, one major group - in my opinion, the most important one - is missing from this discussion. Yes, the very people produced through reproductive technology! I find it striking that we are frequently not even brought up in this debate, yet we are the entire reason that the industry exists in the first place. We also happen to be the only ones who have no ability to consent to the conditions surrounding the "medical treatment."
This also brings me back to the donor-conceived octuplets with six older siblings who are currently receiving much media attention. It is very unfortunate that the doctor, the donor father, nor the mother (Nadya Suleman) really thought about the best interests of the children. I hope that their sad situation at least results in better regulations and places more focus on the children in the weighing of the ethics of the current practice of reproductive technology. Whether there are fourteen children conceived through donated gametes or one, they deserve to have rights.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Proposed Legislation: Exciting Progress in the U.S.!
Cynthia Davis of the Missouri State Legislature contacted me and explained that she is trying to grant all donor-conceived people in her state the right to access the donor's identity at age 21. At this point, NO such legislation to ensure that all of us conceived through donated gametes (egg/sperm/embryo) have the option of finding our biological families exists in any state in the U.S. Therefore, this is a huge and exciting step that will perhaps lead other states to consider adopting similar legislation.
Cynthia hopes to have a hearing about her bill (HB355 - see summary below) within the next three months. If you are from Missouri and would be interested in speaking at this hearing, please contact me at KathleenRuby@aol.com and I will get you in touch with her. Thanks, Cynthia, for helping us advocate for the rights of thousands of children who are intentionally kept from knowing their own families and personal history.
******************************
The following is a summary of the Introduced BillHB 355. Sperm and Egg DonationsSponsor: Davis. This bill allows an adult child born as a result of a sperm or egg donation to obtain identifying information regarding the donor by requiring the name of the biological parent and the donor parent to be shown on the child's birth certificate. The State Registrar will file the original birth certificate in the event the non-donor parent requests a new birth certificate. Unless contracted in writing, no legal relationship will exist between the child born as a result of a sperm or egg donation or the child's parent and the child's donor. In the event of a birth as a result of a sperm or egg donor, any person or entity required to file a birth certificate must send the Department of Health and Senior Services documentation of the birth including the child's name, sex, and date and place of birth; the biological parent's name or other parent's name; and the donor parent's name.An adult child of a sperm or egg donation made prior to January 1, 2010, can make a written request to the circuit court in the county in which he or she resides to secure and disclose identifying information of his or her donor parent. Donor parents can register with the Children's Division within the Department of Social Services if they choose to allow a child to obtain his or her identifying information. Any adult child born as a result of a sperm or egg donation will be subject to the same requirements as an adopted child when seeking identifying or non-identifying information regarding his or her donor parent. Children born as a result of a sperm or egg donation made after January 1, 2010, can receive a copy of his or her original birth certificate indicating his or her donor's identifying and medical history information from the State Registrar and the donation facility.
Cynthia hopes to have a hearing about her bill (HB355 - see summary below) within the next three months. If you are from Missouri and would be interested in speaking at this hearing, please contact me at KathleenRuby@aol.com and I will get you in touch with her. Thanks, Cynthia, for helping us advocate for the rights of thousands of children who are intentionally kept from knowing their own families and personal history.
******************************
The following is a summary of the Introduced BillHB 355. Sperm and Egg DonationsSponsor: Davis. This bill allows an adult child born as a result of a sperm or egg donation to obtain identifying information regarding the donor by requiring the name of the biological parent and the donor parent to be shown on the child's birth certificate. The State Registrar will file the original birth certificate in the event the non-donor parent requests a new birth certificate. Unless contracted in writing, no legal relationship will exist between the child born as a result of a sperm or egg donation or the child's parent and the child's donor. In the event of a birth as a result of a sperm or egg donor, any person or entity required to file a birth certificate must send the Department of Health and Senior Services documentation of the birth including the child's name, sex, and date and place of birth; the biological parent's name or other parent's name; and the donor parent's name.An adult child of a sperm or egg donation made prior to January 1, 2010, can make a written request to the circuit court in the county in which he or she resides to secure and disclose identifying information of his or her donor parent. Donor parents can register with the Children's Division within the Department of Social Services if they choose to allow a child to obtain his or her identifying information. Any adult child born as a result of a sperm or egg donation will be subject to the same requirements as an adopted child when seeking identifying or non-identifying information regarding his or her donor parent. Children born as a result of a sperm or egg donation made after January 1, 2010, can receive a copy of his or her original birth certificate indicating his or her donor's identifying and medical history information from the State Registrar and the donation facility.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
What About The Children? - by Renee Smith at the Center for Bioethics and Culture Network
Published January 28, 2009
Kathleen LaBounty is 27 years old and has no idea who her biological father is. Kathleen's problem is complicated further by the fact that she was conceived through sperm donation during the period of mandatory anonymous donations in the early 1980's. Her mother had always told her she was "special," and when she was 8, Kathleen found out exactly what that meant. As she grew older, Kathleen developed a strong desire to find out who her biological father was. Her only clue to finding him is that he attended Baylor College of Medicine. Kathleen has written letters to over 600 graduates in hopes of finding her biological father. She is also searching for her donor-conceived half brother who was put up for adoption after he was born with a mental disorder.
So far Kathleen has received over 250 responses from Baylor graduates. She has met 15 of them in person and has undergone DNA testing with several of the men. Her search has turned up very little since she started, however her efforts have not gone unrewarded. Kathleen has developed relationships with several of the donors as well as non-donors. The graduates that have contacted her have been very supportive and encouraged Kathleen to keep searching.
Kathleen is one of many donor-conceived children who are searching for their biological parents. The biggest hindrance to their searches has been the choice or the mandating of the donor to remain anonymous. At face value, one would think that a donor has the right to be anonymous.
Unfortunately for Kathleen and others, anonymity cuts the important link between a biological parent and child. Couples seek sperm and egg donors in order to conceive a child that has a biological connection with them. However, the biological connection the parent so desperately craves is severed between the donor and the donor-conceived child before they are even born and have a say in the matter.
In 1997 the Supreme Court set precedence for adopted children in Doe vs. Sandquist. The ruling stated that an adoptee had the right to information about their biological parents when they turned 21. There is no such precedent for donor-conceived children. Unless the donor chose not to remain anonymous, the search for a biological parent is very difficult with very few leads. Donor-conceived children and adopted children experience similar emotions. They have the same curiosity to discover their missing element, their other biological half. These children also face the same problems. Kathleen became ill, and doctors were unable to determine the cause for a long time. Had Kathleen been able to hand the doctors a copy of her biological father's medical history, they might have found the cause of her illness, diabetes, sooner than they did.
Beyond the practical reasons why donor-conceived children should have access to the identities of their biological parents, there is something intrinsically unfair about not considering the feelings and emotions of donor-conceived children as they grow up without half of their biological source. Granted there are many children who grow up like this due to natural occurrences of death or separation of parents, but the difference is that parents and donors make the choice knowing that the child may likely never know who the missing person is.
The solution to these complicated problems is to ban anonymous gamete donations. In 2005, the United Kingdom banned anonymous sperm donations. The number of donors had actually risen slightly, but the number of women undergoing fertility treatment has dropped. Men are more conservative and vocal about how many women receive their sperm. If the children want to get more information about their donor they can receive the information when they turn 18. Such a law in the United States would benefit donor-conceived children greatly and would not significantly harm the fertility industry.
Kathleen LaBounty is 27 years old and has no idea who her biological father is. Kathleen's problem is complicated further by the fact that she was conceived through sperm donation during the period of mandatory anonymous donations in the early 1980's. Her mother had always told her she was "special," and when she was 8, Kathleen found out exactly what that meant. As she grew older, Kathleen developed a strong desire to find out who her biological father was. Her only clue to finding him is that he attended Baylor College of Medicine. Kathleen has written letters to over 600 graduates in hopes of finding her biological father. She is also searching for her donor-conceived half brother who was put up for adoption after he was born with a mental disorder.
So far Kathleen has received over 250 responses from Baylor graduates. She has met 15 of them in person and has undergone DNA testing with several of the men. Her search has turned up very little since she started, however her efforts have not gone unrewarded. Kathleen has developed relationships with several of the donors as well as non-donors. The graduates that have contacted her have been very supportive and encouraged Kathleen to keep searching.
Kathleen is one of many donor-conceived children who are searching for their biological parents. The biggest hindrance to their searches has been the choice or the mandating of the donor to remain anonymous. At face value, one would think that a donor has the right to be anonymous.
Unfortunately for Kathleen and others, anonymity cuts the important link between a biological parent and child. Couples seek sperm and egg donors in order to conceive a child that has a biological connection with them. However, the biological connection the parent so desperately craves is severed between the donor and the donor-conceived child before they are even born and have a say in the matter.
In 1997 the Supreme Court set precedence for adopted children in Doe vs. Sandquist. The ruling stated that an adoptee had the right to information about their biological parents when they turned 21. There is no such precedent for donor-conceived children. Unless the donor chose not to remain anonymous, the search for a biological parent is very difficult with very few leads. Donor-conceived children and adopted children experience similar emotions. They have the same curiosity to discover their missing element, their other biological half. These children also face the same problems. Kathleen became ill, and doctors were unable to determine the cause for a long time. Had Kathleen been able to hand the doctors a copy of her biological father's medical history, they might have found the cause of her illness, diabetes, sooner than they did.
Beyond the practical reasons why donor-conceived children should have access to the identities of their biological parents, there is something intrinsically unfair about not considering the feelings and emotions of donor-conceived children as they grow up without half of their biological source. Granted there are many children who grow up like this due to natural occurrences of death or separation of parents, but the difference is that parents and donors make the choice knowing that the child may likely never know who the missing person is.
The solution to these complicated problems is to ban anonymous gamete donations. In 2005, the United Kingdom banned anonymous sperm donations. The number of donors had actually risen slightly, but the number of women undergoing fertility treatment has dropped. Men are more conservative and vocal about how many women receive their sperm. If the children want to get more information about their donor they can receive the information when they turn 18. Such a law in the United States would benefit donor-conceived children greatly and would not significantly harm the fertility industry.
My Daddy's Name is Donor
At first glance, the message on this bib (which is also available as child and adult t-shirts) may seem funny, disturbing, sad, or perhaps even a combination of all the above. Yet again, the message - My Daddy's Name is Donor - is minimizing the man's potential importance in our lives and poking fun at the fact that our biological father is simply a nameless, faceless person whose existence doesn't matter to us. However, we don't remain opinion-less babies forever. We all grow up and have the ability to come to our own decisions. How many babies who wear this bib will reach adulthood and not be satisfied with their only knowledge that their biological father's name is "donor"?
Monday, January 5, 2009
Upcoming Documentary!
An incredible single woman considering sperm donation as an option to create a child produced a documentary as part of her master's film making program. In Anne Catherine's journey to determine whether or not donor conception is the right decision for her, she visited with donor-conceived (Ryan Kramer and me), past and current sperm donors, cryobank directors, recipients (including Wendy Kramer), and her own relatives with an infant conceived naturally.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Thanks, Dad
I want to thank my dad - the man who has raised me and loved me throughout my life - for his understanding and support. Without it, I would not feel free to search for my biological father and other paternal relatives. As my dad already knows, nobody could ever take his place. Likewise, it simply is not possible for another man to become a second dad to me. I am grateful that he realizes that I am in no way trying to reject or replace him, but instead I just hope to find answers to my questions. So, thanks, dad! Raising me as his own and giving me the freedom to find my relatives without guilt are both bigger gifts than he probably realizes.
Friday, December 26, 2008
Are You My Mother? - Children's book by P.D. Eastman
Oddly enough, this book, Are You My Mother?, was one of my all-time favorites as a preschooler. I had not thought about the story in years, but it crossed my mind during the long drive home from visiting my maternal family. After going through my own search for my biological father and wondering with each response whether I'd finally found him, I realized the uncanny similiarities between it and my own life. Below is the description.A mother bird is sitting on her egg in her nest. Suddenly the egg jumps, and mother bird realizes that her baby is about to break out of its egg and will be hungry. Away she flies for food. While the mother bird is gone, the baby bird comes out of its shell. The first thing he says is, "Where is my mother?" He starts looking for her but doesn’t see her in the nest. The baby bird wants to find his mother, but forgets that he can’t fly. He falls down, way down out the nest. He starts to walk to find his mother. He doesn’t know what his mother looks like, so he walks right by her. He comes upon a kitten, a hen, a dog, and a cow. The baby bird asks all of them the same question, "Are you my mother?" They all reply no. Before he continues his search, he stops to wonder if he really does have a mother. He is positive he does, so he goes on. Next he comes upon other things, an old car, a boat, and a plane and asks if any of them could be his mother. He gets no reply, so on he goes. The last thing he meets up with, is a great big excavator. He is so sure this is his mother. Finally he has found her! He runs excitedly up to it, climbs on and says, "Mother Mother, here I am mother!" The excavator says to the baby bird, "SNORT". Quickly the baby bird realizes he has made a mistake. This is definitely not his mother. The excavator begins to move and the baby bird is in big trouble now. He cries out, "I want to go home, I want my mother!" The excavator puts the baby bird gently back in his nest and his mother comes home. She asks him if he knows who she is. After the baby bird tells his mother of all the adventures he had looking for her, he says, "You are bird, and you are my mother." This is a terrific book for little ones age 18 months and up.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Happy Holidays
During this time of year, most people gather with family and closest friends. Therefore, I cannot help but think of my missing relatives and wonder where they are. I want to know what holidays they celebrate, what traditions they share, where they all gather, what activities they enjoy together, and what they look like. I would love to hear their family stories told throughout the generations. If I could, I would also give each one a holiday card. For now, though, I will just use this site to send them all warm thoughts and wishes of a wonderful future.
Happy Holidays to my friends, my known family, and everyone else, too!
Happy Holidays to my friends, my known family, and everyone else, too!
Saturday, December 13, 2008
The Way Life Unfolds
Sometimes people have asked me if my search was worth it given that I have yet to find my paternal family. Without a doubt, the answer is yes. The kindness that I encountered still amazes me. The BCM grads who were initially just strangers in old yearbooks have become an important and meaningful part of my life. When I began my search, it certainly never crossed my mind that I would form close friendships with several of my biological father's former classmates.
However, I am grateful for their ongoing encouragement and compassion. Some have sent me cards, invited me to dinner, introduced me to their families, included me in their holiday celebrations, and even given me their old yearbooks to provide me with the clearest pictures possible to identify my sperm donor. Others send me medical advice, jokes, and funny videos.
Whether or not my biological father ever decides to come forward, I am so thankful for the incredible people I now know as a result of my quest. Just as they call me their "collective pseudo daughter," I truly feel as though I have expanded my nonbiological family through them. We may not always get the end result that we desired, but other outcomes are beautiful in their own way.
However, I am grateful for their ongoing encouragement and compassion. Some have sent me cards, invited me to dinner, introduced me to their families, included me in their holiday celebrations, and even given me their old yearbooks to provide me with the clearest pictures possible to identify my sperm donor. Others send me medical advice, jokes, and funny videos.
Whether or not my biological father ever decides to come forward, I am so thankful for the incredible people I now know as a result of my quest. Just as they call me their "collective pseudo daughter," I truly feel as though I have expanded my nonbiological family through them. We may not always get the end result that we desired, but other outcomes are beautiful in their own way.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Women Line Up to Donate Eggs - Wallstreet Journal
According to this article, there is a surge of women wanting to donate eggs because of the troubled economy.
http://online.wsj.com/article_email/SB122878524586490129-lMyQjAxMDI4MjA4OTcwODk1Wj.html
http://online.wsj.com/article_email/SB122878524586490129-lMyQjAxMDI4MjA4OTcwODk1Wj.html
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Parted-at-Birth Twins Married: Genetic Sexual Attraction
Parts of a BBC article, published earlier this year:
A pair of twins who were adopted by separate families as babies got married without knowing they were brother and sister. A court annulled the British couple's union after they discovered their true relationship.
A peer - who heard of the case from a judge who was involved - said the twins felt an "inevitable attraction." He said the case showed how important it was for children to be able to find out about their biological parents.
Details of the identities of the twins involved have been kept secret, but Lord Alton said the pair did not realise they were related until after their marriage. The crossbench peer, a former Liberal Democrat MP, raised the couple's case during a House of Lords debate on the Human Fertility and Embryology Bill in December.
"They were never told that they were twins," he told the Lords. "They met later in life and felt an inevitable attraction, and the judge had to deal with the consequences of the marriage that they entered into and all the issues of their separation."
Their story raises the wider issue of the importance of strengthening the rights of children to know the identities of their biological parents. We are naturally drawn to people who are quite similar to ourselves. "If you don't know you are biologically related to someone, you may become attracted to them and tragedies like this may occur."
Pam Hodgkins, chief executive officer of the charity Adults Affected by Adoption (NORCAP), said there had been previous cases of separated siblings being attracted to each other. "We have a resistance, a very strong incest taboo where we are aware that someone is a biological relative," she said. "But when we are unaware of that relationship, we are naturally drawn to people who are quite similar to ourselves. "And of course there is unlikely to be anyone more similar to any individual than their sibling."
Mo O'Reilly, director of child placement for the British Association for Adoption and Fostering, said the situation was traumatic for the people involved, but incredibly rare. "Thirty or 40 years ago it would have been more likely that twins be separated and, brought up without knowledge of each other," she said. "This sad case illustrates why, over the last 20-30 years, the shift to openness in adoption was so important," Ms O'Reilly added.
______________________________
A pair of twins who were adopted by separate families as babies got married without knowing they were brother and sister. A court annulled the British couple's union after they discovered their true relationship.
A peer - who heard of the case from a judge who was involved - said the twins felt an "inevitable attraction." He said the case showed how important it was for children to be able to find out about their biological parents.
Details of the identities of the twins involved have been kept secret, but Lord Alton said the pair did not realise they were related until after their marriage. The crossbench peer, a former Liberal Democrat MP, raised the couple's case during a House of Lords debate on the Human Fertility and Embryology Bill in December.
"They were never told that they were twins," he told the Lords. "They met later in life and felt an inevitable attraction, and the judge had to deal with the consequences of the marriage that they entered into and all the issues of their separation."
Their story raises the wider issue of the importance of strengthening the rights of children to know the identities of their biological parents. We are naturally drawn to people who are quite similar to ourselves. "If you don't know you are biologically related to someone, you may become attracted to them and tragedies like this may occur."
Pam Hodgkins, chief executive officer of the charity Adults Affected by Adoption (NORCAP), said there had been previous cases of separated siblings being attracted to each other. "We have a resistance, a very strong incest taboo where we are aware that someone is a biological relative," she said. "But when we are unaware of that relationship, we are naturally drawn to people who are quite similar to ourselves. "And of course there is unlikely to be anyone more similar to any individual than their sibling."
Mo O'Reilly, director of child placement for the British Association for Adoption and Fostering, said the situation was traumatic for the people involved, but incredibly rare. "Thirty or 40 years ago it would have been more likely that twins be separated and, brought up without knowledge of each other," she said. "This sad case illustrates why, over the last 20-30 years, the shift to openness in adoption was so important," Ms O'Reilly added.
______________________________
First, my heart goes out to this couple. How traumatic to have lost not only their marriage, but a chance to enjoy their newly discovered relationship as twins. This is obviously in no way their fault, yet it must be very devastating.
Genetic sexual attraction is equally relevant to donor conception. In particular, it applies to my generation of donor-conceived offspring where sperm was delivered fresh to a clinic for insemination later that day and the couples going to that clinic lived in the same city. In addition, no limits were placed on the number of children created by any given donor. For example, former donors who went through DNA testing with me produced anywhere from one to hundreds of children.
Therefore, it is probable that many half-siblings born in the late 1970s and early 1980s were raised in the same area. Also, parents back then were advised to never tell the children about their conception. This means that many donor-conceived would be aware of the truth and therefore would not go through DNA testing before entering a serious relationship.
Luckily the chance of this occurring today has decreased. Sperm is now frozen and shipped throughout the world, but it still is another hazard of the industry and another reason why honesty within families is so important.
Luckily the chance of this occurring today has decreased. Sperm is now frozen and shipped throughout the world, but it still is another hazard of the industry and another reason why honesty within families is so important.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Postcard Submitted Anonymously: Being Sold
This was submitted anonymously to a site - PostSecret (http://postsecret.blogspot.com/) - that you may or may not be familiar with. People anonymously send in their secrets via postcards. Some are uploaded to the website each Sunday while others are used in books. I think it's important to note that the person who created this postcard had access to paperwork from her donor indicating that his reason for providing his sperm was "money." This caused her pain, given that he did not mention any other motives.
While I do not feel envious of adoptees myself, I did want to share this person's message. I must agree that it is an odd, and somewhat disturbing, feeling to realize that your biological parent, your own flesh, sold you. I, too, said this once on a Canadian radio program. After really thinking about this topic as a result of my own intense search, I came to the realization that my sperm donor had basically been paid $25 to create me and sever all ties forever. Did this cross his mind when he 'donated' (or, more accurately, sold) his sperm? No, probably not. Again, I know and believe that most participate for a combination of money and altruistic reasons.
Yet this leads to the point that many of these men who are recruited for sperm donation are young and naive. With all of the pleas to young men and women to help a family in need yet little discussion of different points of view of the resulting children, I am not convinced that donors are fully aware of what they are doing. Furthermore, the current terminology does not help. By referring to them as "donors," we are minimizing the reality that they are being PAID to CREATE life. Why do we continue to do this? I think it's because "donor" is a much more appealing and comfortable word for the donors, recipients, clinics, and society in general that enables status quo.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Seven Core Issues Identified in Adoption
Seven core issues are now recognized in adoption for birthparents, adoptive parents, and adoptees. These include:
-Loss
-Rejection
-Guilt/Shame
-Grief
-Identity
-Intimacy
-Mastery/Control
Several of these core issues apply to donor conception, too. I will explain the ones that seem, in particular, to relate those of us conceived through gamete (egg/sperm/embryo) donation. My focus here is on the produced children, although I realize that these affect all parties involved in donor conception.
Donor conception, like adoption, would not exist without loss. Parents have frequently lost their dream of having a child due to infertility or other circumstances. In the case of couples, one parent loses the opportunity to have a child sharing a genetic bond. Additionally, the donor-conceived are intentionally seperated from half of their genetic families, whether temporarily (for the first 18 years of life) or permanently (through anonymous donations). Some of us have been forever denied information about our heritage and medical histories, too. In other words, the loss initially experienced by our parents through infertility has been unintentionally transferred to many of us.
Similar to adoptees, some donor-conceived people also experience rejection. Although the "donors" are most often well-intentioned and good people intending to help another family, the resulting offspring may wonder why their biological parent intentionally severed ties with them. Even though the donor never wanted to be in a parental role, some of us still view that person as being far more important than just a "donor." Assuming our donors are married with children, we are equally related to them as are their children through marriage yet we are denied any type of connection with all of them. In some ways, this feels like being a second class citizen. Others may point out that we are very wanted by our parents who sought donor conception, which is true, but we are nonetheless rejected/abandoned by someone who may be very important to us.
We, too, are potentionally set up for grief, yet we are expected by society to be grateful. While many, if not most, of us are happy to be alive, we must grieve over never knowing a biological parent and our own history. We may also grieve over never knowing our aunts, uncles, grandparents, siblings, and cousins. To some of us, this realization feels much like experiencing the death of someone close to us.
Donor-conceived people, especially conceived through anonymous versus known donations, may wonder about the other half of their identity. Some feel incomlete and lack feelings of well-being. Questions may develop, including: Who am I? Where am I from? Where do I belong? What relatives do I look/act like? What is my heritage? Many of us have no way to obtain answers to our questions.
Like adoptees who had no control over being placed up for adoption, donor-conceived had no part in the decision to be a result of reproductive technology. Again, feelings of lack of control applies more to those conceived through anonymous donors. Long before we were born, our parents, clinic, and donor made a decision on our behalf that we would never be allowed to know half of our genetic family. We are a product of this contract, yet we had no voice or ability to advocate for our own needs.
Ending all anonymous donations would reduce many of these issues by taking the needs of the "children" into account and providing them with information that most people simply take for granted. Mistakes were made in the past, but at least they can be corrected for future generations. However, change will not occur until our voices are heard instead of pushed aside.
-Loss
-Rejection
-Guilt/Shame
-Grief
-Identity
-Intimacy
-Mastery/Control
Several of these core issues apply to donor conception, too. I will explain the ones that seem, in particular, to relate those of us conceived through gamete (egg/sperm/embryo) donation. My focus here is on the produced children, although I realize that these affect all parties involved in donor conception.
Donor conception, like adoption, would not exist without loss. Parents have frequently lost their dream of having a child due to infertility or other circumstances. In the case of couples, one parent loses the opportunity to have a child sharing a genetic bond. Additionally, the donor-conceived are intentionally seperated from half of their genetic families, whether temporarily (for the first 18 years of life) or permanently (through anonymous donations). Some of us have been forever denied information about our heritage and medical histories, too. In other words, the loss initially experienced by our parents through infertility has been unintentionally transferred to many of us.
Similar to adoptees, some donor-conceived people also experience rejection. Although the "donors" are most often well-intentioned and good people intending to help another family, the resulting offspring may wonder why their biological parent intentionally severed ties with them. Even though the donor never wanted to be in a parental role, some of us still view that person as being far more important than just a "donor." Assuming our donors are married with children, we are equally related to them as are their children through marriage yet we are denied any type of connection with all of them. In some ways, this feels like being a second class citizen. Others may point out that we are very wanted by our parents who sought donor conception, which is true, but we are nonetheless rejected/abandoned by someone who may be very important to us.
We, too, are potentionally set up for grief, yet we are expected by society to be grateful. While many, if not most, of us are happy to be alive, we must grieve over never knowing a biological parent and our own history. We may also grieve over never knowing our aunts, uncles, grandparents, siblings, and cousins. To some of us, this realization feels much like experiencing the death of someone close to us.
Donor-conceived people, especially conceived through anonymous versus known donations, may wonder about the other half of their identity. Some feel incomlete and lack feelings of well-being. Questions may develop, including: Who am I? Where am I from? Where do I belong? What relatives do I look/act like? What is my heritage? Many of us have no way to obtain answers to our questions.
Like adoptees who had no control over being placed up for adoption, donor-conceived had no part in the decision to be a result of reproductive technology. Again, feelings of lack of control applies more to those conceived through anonymous donors. Long before we were born, our parents, clinic, and donor made a decision on our behalf that we would never be allowed to know half of our genetic family. We are a product of this contract, yet we had no voice or ability to advocate for our own needs.
Ending all anonymous donations would reduce many of these issues by taking the needs of the "children" into account and providing them with information that most people simply take for granted. Mistakes were made in the past, but at least they can be corrected for future generations. However, change will not occur until our voices are heard instead of pushed aside.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
ASRM: Pressure Builds for Open Identity Sperm Donation
The study that I completed with Dr. Patricia Mahlstedt was discussed in the following article. **A few corrections are worth noting. 1. Although 60% of our participants believed that only donors who release their identity should be used (versus anonymous donors), an additional 15% did not support any type of sperm/egg donation. 2. The participant attitudes were not mainly very good to good, as indicated here. Instead, they were evenly distributed from very bad to very good.
By Kate Johnson, Contributing Writer, MedPage TodayPublished
SAN FRANCISCO -- Studies of people conceived with donated sperm suggest that many do not support the practice of anonymous sperm donation.
To read the article, click here:
http://www.medpagetoday.com/MeetingCoverage/ASRM/11783
By Kate Johnson, Contributing Writer, MedPage TodayPublished
SAN FRANCISCO -- Studies of people conceived with donated sperm suggest that many do not support the practice of anonymous sperm donation.
To read the article, click here:
http://www.medpagetoday.com/MeetingCoverage/ASRM/11783
Friday, November 21, 2008
Radio Lab - NPR
Thanks, Ari, for a great program about the "history of sperm."
One of three segments discussed my search, including interviews with two incredible men who went through DNA testing with me. Each segment is 20 minutes. You may listen to them here: http://www.wnyc.org/shows/radiolab/episodes/2008/11/21
"Fatherhood" (2nd segment - starts at 22:30)
In this segment, Ari Daniel Shapiro introduces us to a young woman and her years-long search for the man whose donated sperm was used in her conception. Kathleen has thought long and hard about what fatherhood means, about the psychology of genetic relationships, and about the complicated emotions tied up in family, responsibility, and identity. Her persistence and determination brought her into strangely intimate contact with complete strangers, who had some surprising and unexpected reactions to her sudden appearance in their lives.
The other segments included:
"Sperm" (1st segment)
Why so many sperm? We turn to the animal kingdom to answer that question, which lands us on a tour of sperm battles in ducks, flying pig sperm, and promiscuous whippoorwills. We ponder the necessity of males in a world where sperm can be frozen and kept for all eternity. And we sit quietly in a stark sonic space with a widow struggling to keep some essence of her husband alive.
Matthew Cobb takes us back to 1677, when Anton Van Leewenhoek first identified sperm and there was much talk of souls and miniature men residing in the seminal fluid. Upon observation it became clear that there were an awful lot of those little guys that never turned into babies! Jad wonders: why so many sperm? Bird-sex specialist Tim Birkhead, of the University of Sheffield, explains what effect imperfect monogamy has on reproductive strategies. Then sperm physiologist Joanna Ellington and her pig Hazel give us some insight into the obstacles sperm must overcome in their odyssey from their male originator to their female destination.
"Deep Freeze" (3rd segment)
Genetics researcher and author Steve Jones speculates on how males got their start, and then presents us with a biological mystery: Why have males hung around so long? Males don't appear to be biologically necessary. In fact, some species, says Steve, have done away with them entirely. But surely males have some use? Steve makes one argument for why we need men ... or at least a freezer full of sperm. NPR's Nell Greenfieldboyce tells us how news of a new technology allowing the extraction of sperm from a man posthumously impacted a grieving New York widow named Leisha.
One of three segments discussed my search, including interviews with two incredible men who went through DNA testing with me. Each segment is 20 minutes. You may listen to them here: http://www.wnyc.org/shows/radiolab/episodes/2008/11/21
"Fatherhood" (2nd segment - starts at 22:30)
In this segment, Ari Daniel Shapiro introduces us to a young woman and her years-long search for the man whose donated sperm was used in her conception. Kathleen has thought long and hard about what fatherhood means, about the psychology of genetic relationships, and about the complicated emotions tied up in family, responsibility, and identity. Her persistence and determination brought her into strangely intimate contact with complete strangers, who had some surprising and unexpected reactions to her sudden appearance in their lives.
The other segments included:
"Sperm" (1st segment)
Why so many sperm? We turn to the animal kingdom to answer that question, which lands us on a tour of sperm battles in ducks, flying pig sperm, and promiscuous whippoorwills. We ponder the necessity of males in a world where sperm can be frozen and kept for all eternity. And we sit quietly in a stark sonic space with a widow struggling to keep some essence of her husband alive.
Matthew Cobb takes us back to 1677, when Anton Van Leewenhoek first identified sperm and there was much talk of souls and miniature men residing in the seminal fluid. Upon observation it became clear that there were an awful lot of those little guys that never turned into babies! Jad wonders: why so many sperm? Bird-sex specialist Tim Birkhead, of the University of Sheffield, explains what effect imperfect monogamy has on reproductive strategies. Then sperm physiologist Joanna Ellington and her pig Hazel give us some insight into the obstacles sperm must overcome in their odyssey from their male originator to their female destination.
"Deep Freeze" (3rd segment)
Genetics researcher and author Steve Jones speculates on how males got their start, and then presents us with a biological mystery: Why have males hung around so long? Males don't appear to be biologically necessary. In fact, some species, says Steve, have done away with them entirely. But surely males have some use? Steve makes one argument for why we need men ... or at least a freezer full of sperm. NPR's Nell Greenfieldboyce tells us how news of a new technology allowing the extraction of sperm from a man posthumously impacted a grieving New York widow named Leisha.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Anonymity
Most people seem to understand our need for medical history. Many acknowledge why we want to know our heritage. Others, however, just view those of us who search and/or try to explain why anonymous donations need to cease in all countries as being "ungrateful" or "inappreciative." While I have also encountered incredible support from a variety of people that I deeply appreciate, I also can't count the number of times that I - and many other donor-conceived people - have been called these inaccurate names.
From my perspective, donor conception exists due to the deep longings of adults to experience parenthood. Therefore, shouldn't the best interests and the well-being of the children - the entire reason this industry exists in the first place - be at the forefront of the anonymity debate? Why are our needs and rights frequently pushed away or minimized? Many of us are grown. Although parents in the past were unaware of the potential effects of anonymous donation on their children, we - the grown children - now have the ability to discuss our needs. We can expose mistakes from the past so that they are fixed for future generations. Like our parents who sought donor conception rather than adoption to form a biological connection, genetics/biology matter to many of us, too.
Some people believe that only a small group of donor-conceived people share my thoughts and feelings. Others claim that it's a higher percentage. Whether the minority, or the majority, of people produced through 'donated' (or, technically, sold) gametes feel similar to me, they deserve to have options available to them to seek answers for their own well-being. We are not looking for financial support. We are not trying to replace our parent(s). We are not ungrateful. We are simply wanting basic answers to who we are, where we belong, and what our biological parents/relatives are like that most of the population takes for granted.
Anonymity only exists because it appeals to some donors (who want to no connection to the children they produce) and some potential parents (who are concerned about third party involvement). It has absolutely nothing to do with the best interests of the resulting children. Many countries - including England, the Netherlands,Sweden, Norway, Finland, Switzerland, Austria, New Zealand, and the states of Victoria, New South Wales and Western Australia - already recognized this through the banning of anonymous donations. Other countries, however, are still prioritizing profit and interests of parents over the rights of the children.
From my perspective, donor conception exists due to the deep longings of adults to experience parenthood. Therefore, shouldn't the best interests and the well-being of the children - the entire reason this industry exists in the first place - be at the forefront of the anonymity debate? Why are our needs and rights frequently pushed away or minimized? Many of us are grown. Although parents in the past were unaware of the potential effects of anonymous donation on their children, we - the grown children - now have the ability to discuss our needs. We can expose mistakes from the past so that they are fixed for future generations. Like our parents who sought donor conception rather than adoption to form a biological connection, genetics/biology matter to many of us, too.
Some people believe that only a small group of donor-conceived people share my thoughts and feelings. Others claim that it's a higher percentage. Whether the minority, or the majority, of people produced through 'donated' (or, technically, sold) gametes feel similar to me, they deserve to have options available to them to seek answers for their own well-being. We are not looking for financial support. We are not trying to replace our parent(s). We are not ungrateful. We are simply wanting basic answers to who we are, where we belong, and what our biological parents/relatives are like that most of the population takes for granted.
Anonymity only exists because it appeals to some donors (who want to no connection to the children they produce) and some potential parents (who are concerned about third party involvement). It has absolutely nothing to do with the best interests of the resulting children. Many countries - including England, the Netherlands,Sweden, Norway, Finland, Switzerland, Austria, New Zealand, and the states of Victoria, New South Wales and Western Australia - already recognized this through the banning of anonymous donations. Other countries, however, are still prioritizing profit and interests of parents over the rights of the children.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Donor X Project - Great Resource for Donor-Conceived People
Kirk Maxey, creator of the Donor X Project, recently identified the X chromosome that I inherited from my sperm donor. Females inherit an X chromosome from their maternal side that reshuffles generation to generation. In other words, my X chromosome is different than my mother's. In contrast, the X chromosome inherited from the father remains the same. Therefore, Kirk deduced 5 of the 6 values on my paternal X chromosome. Apparently my donor's X-STR signature is 43, 12, 17, 20 or 21, and 10. In addition, my first value, 43, is so uncommon that there is only one other individual in the entire CaBRI database with this value. As more people voluntarily submit their DNA to Kirk's database, perhaps I will eventually be able to find a match through my paternal X chromosome.
To learn more about Kirk's project, go to: http://www.cabrimed.org/donorconceivedservices.jsp;jsessionid=5B75C1F222A88793032857F4C08DE878
To learn more about Kirk's project, go to: http://www.cabrimed.org/donorconceivedservices.jsp;jsessionid=5B75C1F222A88793032857F4C08DE878
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Looking for Half-Brother with Down Syndrome
In addition to my search for my anonymous sperm donor, I have also been on a quest to locate my 27-year-old maternal half-brother with Down syndrome. He, too, was conceived through an anonymous Baylor student in Houston, Texas, but was placed up for adoption right after his birth in 1981. I have contacted the adoption agency (Spaulding), the lawyer involved in his adoption, and other organizations dealing with adoption and/or special needs in an attempt to get in touch with his parents. Nothing has worked thus far.
I know that my half-brother was adopted by a family in a specific city near Houston. His adoptive parents have two biological children without disabilities as well as two other adopted grown 'children' who also have Down syndrome.
If you know of a family that fits this profile or if you are aware of other resources/people that could assist with my search, please contact me.
I know that my half-brother was adopted by a family in a specific city near Houston. His adoptive parents have two biological children without disabilities as well as two other adopted grown 'children' who also have Down syndrome.
If you know of a family that fits this profile or if you are aware of other resources/people that could assist with my search, please contact me.
Who Am I? Nature/Nurture Debate
To what degree does genetics determine who we are? To what degree is it environment? This, of course, takes us back to the nature-nurture debate. Sometimes people try to convince me that genetics are not as important as environment, but I believe that each has its place in contributing to who we are.
For example, there are parts of me that are unexplainable in terms of environment. Imagine my surprise when I discovered by accident at age 21 that I can sketch despite the fact that I have never taken an art lesson in my life. Since nobody in my mother's family has this ability, I had no idea to even look for it. As a result, I can't help but wonder what other abilities I have that I am completely unaware of.
Likewise, my reflection is determined by genetics. When I look in the mirror, it is sometimes as though I see a stranger looking back at me. I have heard several adoptees say this, too. While my thin build did come from my mom's side, my height - or, lack of height - did not. I am 5'2", yet my maternal cousins range from 5'10" to 6'5". I also suspect that someone in my paternal family shares my dark blue eyes that have not appeared in any maternal relatives.
I wonder what led my sperm donor to become a doctor. Did I inherit my interest in medical issues from him? Perhaps his genes explain why I am fascinated by TV programs on Discovery Health. Maybe his genes contributed to my decision at age seven to become the only vegetarian in my family as a result of my need to take care of anything living.
By studying my maternal relatives for similiarities and differences to me, I am at least able to deduce what my biological father might look like, act like, and enjoy doing. As a result, I'm also able to figure out how we are probably similar. While bonds may be formed regardless of genetics, I cannot deny reminders each day that a mystery man has contributed to who I am.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
"Picture" of Anonymous Sperm Donor Father
Last year, my friend turned a photograph of her as an infant sitting in her mother's lap into an art project to work through painful emotions from her traumatic upbringing. I realized that I, too, have strong emotions about my situation, although different than my friend's, and that I, too, would like to try a similar project. But how would this be possible without anything tangible of my anonymous sperm donor father?
I decided to create his picture in the form of a flesh colored, animated sperm. I drew a cartoon face, given that I know none of its true details. I added brown hair, to match mine, and dark blue eyes, my unique physical trait that has never appeared in my maternal family. Although my drawing turned out far from attractive, it is the first and only picture that I possess of my biological father. On the back of my drawing, I wrote all of the questions that I want to ask him one day if and when our paths cross.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Dreams
I have heard several donor-conceived people and adoptees discuss dreams that they have about their unknown birthparent(s). I thought I would share two of mine. One is about my sperm donor father, while the other is about the loss involved when our records are destroyed.
During my first paternity test, I had a dream where I met my sperm donor on a bus. As we chatted, he checked my reflexes to make sure my body "functioned correctly." His face remained a blur. When I woke up, I found it amusing that the one piece of information I have about this man - that he probably attended medical school - got incorporated into my dream.
I had a second dream during another paternity test. In real life, I live in an apartment complex where the dumpster is located nearby. It is usually emptied around 6 to 8 in the morning. In my dream, this dumpster outside my apartment window was being emptied. I ran outside to explain to the men emptying it that the dumpster contained all of the records for thousands of donor-conceived people, including our medical history, heritage, and the identity of our donors. Despite my pleaing for the men to preserve the records and my cries that destroying these documents could mean that we might never know our families or our own histories, these records were destroyed. When I woke up, the dumpster was actually being emptied.
During my first paternity test, I had a dream where I met my sperm donor on a bus. As we chatted, he checked my reflexes to make sure my body "functioned correctly." His face remained a blur. When I woke up, I found it amusing that the one piece of information I have about this man - that he probably attended medical school - got incorporated into my dream.
I had a second dream during another paternity test. In real life, I live in an apartment complex where the dumpster is located nearby. It is usually emptied around 6 to 8 in the morning. In my dream, this dumpster outside my apartment window was being emptied. I ran outside to explain to the men emptying it that the dumpster contained all of the records for thousands of donor-conceived people, including our medical history, heritage, and the identity of our donors. Despite my pleaing for the men to preserve the records and my cries that destroying these documents could mean that we might never know our families or our own histories, these records were destroyed. When I woke up, the dumpster was actually being emptied.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Donor Babies Search for Their Anonymous Fathers - Houston Press article, Nov. 2008
Wendy Kramer, creator of Donor Sibling Registry
Kathleen LaBountyThis is an in-depth, well-written, and informative article about my story as well as other information about sperm donation. Wendy Kramer was also interviewed. (I have a few minor corrections to make, just for the record. 1. My mom requested a man with blue eyes, not blond hair. 2. I have not been in People Magazine. 3. I was a speaker at an international conference in Canada about reforming this industry and creating ethical practice worldwide. However, many others were there, too, including Wendy, a bioethicist, Kirk Maxey, a few other donor-conceived people, etc.) http://www.houstonpress.com/2008-11-06/news/donor-babies-search-for-their-anonymous-fathers/
My Story
(Picture of My Quest)My name is Kathleen. I was conceived May 4, 1981 at St. Luke's Hospital. My parents received no information about my sperm donor, including my medical history - despite that I am diabetic - or heritage, except that he was most likely a student at Baylor College of Medicine in 1981. Unfortunately clinics also did not yet assign donor numbers enabling half-siblings to locate each other and perhaps their sperm donors.
Since all records about the procedure were destroyed years ago and I exhausted various avenues to obtain information, I attempted to find my sperm donor through old medical school yearbooks. Unfortunately, no one man jumped off the page as I had naively hoped. Therefore, I decided to look up recent pictures and contact information to try to narrow my search. Despite sending out 600 letters, receiving 250 responses, having 40 sperm donors come forward, and going through 16 DNA tests, I still have not found my family. In an unusual and unexpected twist, I did establish very close friendships with numerous of my sperm donor's former classmates who call me their "collective pseudo daughter." I now hope to use my story to help other families affected by egg/sperm/embryo donation and to advocate for needed legislation.
Beyond my background with donor conception, I am finishing my master's degree in psychology to become a therapist. One of my goals is to further my work with children and another is to leave the world a slightly better place. I have worked with (and been very touched by) preschoolers with Down syndrome, children battling cancer, abused kids living at an emergency shelter, and adolescents in a psychiatric hospital.
Voices of 85 Adults Conceived Via Sperm Donation
Study: The Voices of 85 Adults Conceived Via Sperm Donation
Infertility counselor (psychologist) Dr. Mahlstedt and I examined the attitudes and experiences of 85 adults conceived through sperm donation throughout the world through a study that will be published in the medical journal Sterility and Fertility in early 2009. The abstract was also presented in November 2008 at the American Society for Reproductive Medicine conference in California. I hope that the voices of these donor-conceived will be listened to and learned from. The highlights of our results include that:
-Most of our participants viewed the man who provided sperm as a biological father (versus donor).
-Most searched for him.
-Most wanted to know their donor and half-siblings.
-Most believed that the donor's name should be on the birth certificate in some manner.
-While only 1.2% of our participants had identifying information about their donors, 86.9% wanted to know his identity. More specifically, 35.7% of our sample wanted to meet him once, 26.2% wanted to establish a relationship, 25.0% wanted identifying information, 11.9% only desired nonidentifying information, and 1.2% didn't want anything.
-Most would not be egg/sperm donors themselves or use egg/sperm donation to conceive children.
-12.9% felt that sperm donation shouldn't be practiced at all, 1.2% supported only anonymous donations, 3.5% supported donors who provide some non-identifying information, 57.7% supported only donors who would release identifying information to offspring of any age, and
24.7% believed that donors who provide indepth nonidentifying information is acceptable.
Infertility counselor (psychologist) Dr. Mahlstedt and I examined the attitudes and experiences of 85 adults conceived through sperm donation throughout the world through a study that will be published in the medical journal Sterility and Fertility in early 2009. The abstract was also presented in November 2008 at the American Society for Reproductive Medicine conference in California. I hope that the voices of these donor-conceived will be listened to and learned from. The highlights of our results include that:
-Most of our participants viewed the man who provided sperm as a biological father (versus donor).
-Most searched for him.
-Most wanted to know their donor and half-siblings.
-Most believed that the donor's name should be on the birth certificate in some manner.
-While only 1.2% of our participants had identifying information about their donors, 86.9% wanted to know his identity. More specifically, 35.7% of our sample wanted to meet him once, 26.2% wanted to establish a relationship, 25.0% wanted identifying information, 11.9% only desired nonidentifying information, and 1.2% didn't want anything.
-Most would not be egg/sperm donors themselves or use egg/sperm donation to conceive children.
-12.9% felt that sperm donation shouldn't be practiced at all, 1.2% supported only anonymous donations, 3.5% supported donors who provide some non-identifying information, 57.7% supported only donors who would release identifying information to offspring of any age, and
24.7% believed that donors who provide indepth nonidentifying information is acceptable.
FAQ's, Needed Legislation, and Resources
FAQ’s, Needed Legislation, and Resources
These are a few questions frequently asked to those of us conceived through sperm donation.
1. How can you be against something that brought you into the world?
-I believe that you can appreciate your life without supporting your method of conception. People produced through rape (which obviously involves an act of violence that does not apply to my situation) or an affair may feel similarly. While I am grateful to be here, I only support known (versus anonymous) donors.
2. Are you mad at your parents?
-No, I'm not mad at my mom, dad, or biological father. I believe that my parents sought donor conception as a "medical treatment." Nobody was aware of how we, the "products" of a business deal, might one day feel. I'm also not mad at my biological father. I believe that the vast majority of the young men who are targeted to become sperm donors are naive but kind and well-intentioned. Most probably wanted to help a family and needed money.
However, I think we need to learn from mistakes of the past and correct them for future generations. I also hope that my biological father will come forward one day. If he would give me a chance, I'm pretty sure that I would grow on him.
3. It's just one cell. Why do you care?
-That one cell led to my existence. It's not one cell, but half of who I am. If genetics weren't important in the first place, this booming industry wouldn't exist.
In addition, I am curious about the other half of my family, including aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents. I also want to meet my half-siblings, whether I have 2, 20, or 200 of them. There were no limits placed on the number of children that one man could produce, which increases the likelihood that I may have numerous half-brothers and half-sisters.
I also want access to my medical history - which would be helpful not only since I am diabetic, but for appropriate screening for other illnesses - and heritage. I have even googled my features to try to figure out my ancestry.
4. Aren't you violating a contract by searching?
-No, I am simply the result of a contract that was signed by my mom, the clinic, and my donor long before I was even born.
5. Is your search threatening to your dad?
-My dad knows that he's my one and only dad. Although I do view the other man as my biological father versus an unimportant donor, he is not a second dad. To me, your dad is the person who raises you as his own. I think that each of us must define these terms for ourself - donor, biological father, and dad.
6. How is sperm donation any different than donating blood (or an organ)?
-While some people may think that the two seem similar, I find sperm donation and blood donation very different. Sperm donation involves paying a person to help CREATE life, while blood is given to SUSTAIN life. Furthermore, sperm donation contributes to the resulting child's sense of self and identity. Sperm donation also potentionally tranfers a sense of loss and grief to the children that does not apply to blood donation.
7. I'm thinking about using donated eggs/sperm because I'm single (or in a same-sex relationship or struggling with infertility). What would you recommend in terms of the best interest of my future child?
-I highly commend those who learn about all perspectives prior to going through this process. I think it takes great insight. My main advice is to use a known donor. Even if your child does not feel like me, at least he/she will have options available. Also, I strongly encourage honesty. Tell your child at an early age (in an age-appropriate manner) about his/her conception. This avoids secrecy and deception within the family.
8. What legislation do you want passed?
-I support the objectives as stated by The International Network of Donor Conception Organizations (INODCO, http://www.inodco.com/).
1. End donor anonymity.
2. Track all recipients, donors and births and safeguard all records in a central, government data bank indefinitely. Information to be accessible by all involved families.
3. Mandate reporting of donor conceived live births from each donor.
4. Limit the number of births conceived with the sperm or eggs from any given donor
5. Require donors to regularly update their family medical history. Medical information to be included in donor data bank.
6. Mandate genetic testing for donors and include genetic information in donor bank.
7. Push our respective governments to inquire into followup health histories of egg donors.
8. Require mandatory third party counseling for all prospective donors and parents.
9. Require legal and financial protection for anonymous donors so that they may feel safe to come forward.
**The following organizations also push for the above, new legislation internationally. (Endorsed by the Donor Sibling Registry, USA; The Donor Conception Network, UK; CaBRI, USA; MAIA, France; Procreation Medicalement Anonyme, France; Donor Conceptuion Support Group, Australia; and International Donor Offspring Alliance (IDOA)
9. What Resources are Available?
For additional information about donor conception as well as a registry to look for donor relatives, visit the Donor Sibling Registry (http://www.donorsiblingregistry.com/). Other helpful sites include the Infertility Network of Canada(http://www.infertilitynetwork.org/) and The United Kingdom Donor Conception Network (http://www.donor-conception-network.org/). Information about finding biological relatives through the X chromosome (for women) and Y chrosome (for men) can be found at www.cabrimed.org/donorconceivedservices.jsp and http://www.familytreedna.com/. To view a site containing pictures and detailed stories of donor-conceived people, go to http://www.searchingformyspermdonorfather.org/. Online groups about donor conception include People Conceived Via Artificial Insemination (PCVAI), IDOA, and Tangled Webs. For information about legally binding DNA testing, visit Identigene at http://www.dnatesting.com/. For non-legally binding DNA testing, visit the Genetic Testing Laboratories, Inc. (GTL) at http://www.gtldna.com/customerservice.html.
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